Steve and I were classmates in Centerville schools. He was eight days younger than I. In thinking about what I could say about Steve for this memorial, I decided that a single story would suffice to illustrate the kind of person Steve was. This story is not well-known even among our classmates and friends. It is a small-world story:
In the mid-1970s, long after our school days together, I had started dating my future wife Robin, then a doctoral student at Stanford University, where I was teaching. My future mother-in-law Ruthie was piquedly curious about my background. In due course, she discovered that I am from Centerville, Iowa. "Oh, I know someone from Centerville, Iowa!" Ruthie exclaimed. ("Uh-oh!" I thought.) "My good friend Eleanor is married to Fred Wehrle, who is from Centerville, Iowa." (Fred was Steve's uncle.) Steve heard about this development and leaped into action. Perhaps anticipating the natural skepticism of mothers-in-law everywhere toward potential future sons-in-law, Steve unsolicitedly and without my knowledge composed a two-page, single-spaced letter of recommendation attesting to my suitability as a mate for Robin and delivered it to Ruthie! Steve never told me directly that he had written the letter, but when I asked him later, he confessed somewhat abashedly. I really cannot judge the extent to which Steve's letter may have smoothed the way for me with my mother-in-law. But I was touched by the generous and kindly spirit that his writing of the letter represents. And I did marry Robin (thanks, Steve!).
Steve, if you were Jewish, you would be a mensch. And by the way, Steve, if you would like to have a letter of recommendation for the next leg of your journey, I would be happy to oblige.
-Tom Sager
